We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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