Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
