summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
