I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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