At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
