**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
