Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well you can't waste a boner
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
