Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
