Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
