And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
