I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
