operation have a gay friend backfired
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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