Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
