My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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