I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
