I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
