You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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