Your mouth is God's brothel.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
