I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
