and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Small penises have feelings too.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
