Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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