google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
