do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
