i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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