Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
