So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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