I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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