I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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