Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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