you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
