You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
