If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
