so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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