he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
