Do you still have your period?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
