why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
