im gay
i know
yea but for you.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
