Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That's intense
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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