well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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