after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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