one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
