I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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