remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
