from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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