Barsexuality is the new black.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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