Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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