I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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