But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
