STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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