You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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